


The World You Thought You Lived In

by mmwaite



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 18:56:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10747782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmwaite/pseuds/mmwaite
Summary: Jack’s been eager to prove himself this season, playing in the all preseason games, hyping up the crowd and their reaction to him playing, playing off their energy, scoring his first two points in the NHL in front of a home crowd. But seven months later, he feels like he’s being torn in six different directions by seven different forces and has eight different responsibilities every single day.





	The World You Thought You Lived In

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this was inspired by what [Auston Matthews](https://www.nhl.com/news/auston-matthews-wont-play-for-us-at-world-championship/c-289084804)said about his decision not to play in the World Championship after being eliminated from the playoffs. I tweaked it a little to hint that Jack was invited to play in the World Cup but wanted to keep his time off for himself instead of extra training or playing.
> 
> Title taken from Mika's Any Other World

Jack’s been eager to prove himself this season, playing in the all preseason games, hyping up the crowd and their reaction to him playing, playing off their energy, scoring his first two points in the NHL in front of a home crowd. But seven months into it, he feels like he’s being torn in six different directions by seven different forces and has eight different responsibilities every single day.

 

It’s only February, on track to set a franchise record for rookie scoring, when the first mention of playing over the summer comes up. His agent asks if he would be interested in playing in the World Cup for the first time, though it’s still a little too early to have any set roster. They’re just looking at interested players. Setting up the stage, so to speak.

 

Just halfway through the season Jack gets his first hint of not wanting to play hockey. Just halfway through the season, and he’s already at a level of exhaustion he hasn’t had to experience in college or juniors. Just halfway through, and that’s not including the viciousness that are playoffs - playing against other desperate teams willing to sacrifice their bodies to hockey, even with the risk of being kicked out in the very next game.

 

He tells his agent he’ll think about it, fully aware that that was not the answer he was expecting or wanted to hear.

 

Two months later, closer to when solid plans are being laid for the event over the summer do the questions trickle in. A beat reporter mentioning the team being almost unstoppable this year, or Bitty hinting at keeping busy over the summer before his senior year, or Bob insinuating he’ll be excited to be able to keep watching hockey over the summer, when he’s really only been focusing on Jack’s playing lately.

 

Eventually he can’t avoid giving a yes or no answer. They need to start nailing down plans and solidifying the roster sooner rather than later. Luckily, he’s learned plenty of ways to communicate from his four years at Samwell, and obviously the first person he goes to isn’t a surprise.

 

The conversation he has with Bob happens when they’re visitors playing one of their last games against the Habs, and goes differently than he would have expected.

 

«I just... I haven’t seen Bitty in months. I haven’t been able to see you guys even longer.» Being able to meet for one night to do for dinner suddenly isn’t enough. It’s not like he was raised in a home that spent every night eating family dinner together, but still being able to spend more than two hours together at a time would be nice. Constantly being “visiting” isn’t enough. He hadn’t realized that before the next words come out of his mouth after a few moments of thinking over his new realization.

 

«Papa, I just... I really want some time for me. For _us_.» His shrug and shaking of his head suggests it’s not a big deal to him if he does end up playing two extra months. By now, Bob knows how to tell the difference.

 

Bob’s proud gaze doesn’t compare to the hug he receives.

 

Gripping Jack by the shoulders and looking him in identical eyes, he says, «Not that long ago, _time to yourself_ would have been playing, Jack... I’m glad it’s not anymore»

 

And the whispered, «J’t’aime, Jack,» feels like coming home.

 

It only gives him a small amount of relief to know that he’s not expected to play by his father; knowing that the whole of Canada, some of America, and most of Boston and Rhode Island still expect it doesn’t add to the relief. Knowing that he has to have this conversation with Bitty as well also doesn’t help. Since getting together, the small blonde may be considered even more of an influence on his actions than his father’s. Not only in terms of hockey, but general decisions as well. They both know Jack is either zero-or-100% at all times - and their relationship is no different. He knows that Bitty will, hopefully, be more long-term than not, and makes decisions accordingly to help plan that life - making this conversation inevitable.

 

Only a month and a half after talking to his father, his conversation with Bitty goes a little differently. It starts with them staying in on an odd quiet night they both have free, NHL Network not even softly playing in the background. Instead, they lounge in their PJs - the small Habs logos barely decipherable in Jack’s fluffy pants, Bitty’s a simple pastel orange pair of pants flowing around his ankles while he bumbles around the living room looking for the remote to start their Netflix evening.

 

Cuddled up against one arm of the couch on their third episode of The X-Files, Bitty asks if he was aiming for a spot on Canada’s national team. Hinting at the question wasn’t working so eventually it just came to, “honey, are you doing the World Cup as well? Has anyone asked you yet - they’d be a _fool_ not to!”

 

“Bits, they asked, I just...I don’t know,” again, with a shrug.

 

“Sweetpea, what do you mean you don’t know?” And of course, Bitty understands the tone being used, nothing like the excitement or joy he would have expected at being asked to participate in a national team his father also worked on to make successful in his glory years. Instead, he turns around to face Jack, concern bubbling up mostly because....why isn’t he sure? This is hockey they’re talking about - Jack’s livelihood for how many years of his life? All of them.

 

It isn’t until the third time Bitty tries to restart the conversation by asking different questions to get to the actual point that he notices Jack’s eyes doing something he had yet to see. The glassy look combined with the _almost-_ eye contact has him instantly worried. It’s the whispered, “I’m tired,” that makes a little more sense. “I’m just tired.”

 

The moment he looks up to find Bitty with a small smile on his mouth, his stomach drops. He doesn’t know if he covers it up before looking back down, but Bitty must have noticed if he small sigh is anything to go by. A light touch under his chin has him gazing back up and instantly feels his chest start to warm instead.

 

“Breathe, sweepea. It’s okay, I’m not mad, and you’re fine.” Reassurances aside, it does feel better to take a deep breath and take a moment to understand why Bitty is smiling. Selfishly, he knows it means Bitty knows they will have the time to spend together over the summer. What’s more is the fact that Jack is relieved he gets to do this. To say _no,_ to hockey for once.

 

“I’m proud of you baby. For knowing where to stop and how well you’re doing this year. Thank you. I know you wanted to keep playing, but you know where your limits are, and know how to draw them now. Thank you. I’m proud of you.”

 

And just like that, Jack doesn’t feel so defeated anymore.


End file.
